Side Cup Café

Frank: Is a Café owner.
Joe: Is a guy who comes in.
Steve:: Is another guy who comes in.


Joe: Well, look who it is at last!
Frank: Hi, Steve. You're in late today.
Steve: Ah, I was checking all my windows and doors to make sure they're locked and found a few locks that were broken, so I had to fix them before I left.
Frank: I guess the rash of break-ins really has you worried, eh?
Joe: What do you have that's so valuable in your house that someone would want to steal it?
Steve: In my house? I'm talking about my chicken coop. Like you said, I don't have anything in my house that's so valuable.
Joe: Oh, so you're hiding it all in your chicken coop.
Steve: Exactly. Who ever breaks into a chicken coop?
Frank: Nobody that I know of.
Steve: Right! You'd have to be a real weasel to get in there, anyway.
Joe: You got it locked up pretty tight, eh?
Frank: Sounds like it'd take a real pro to get in it.
Steve: No, I mean it. You'd have to be a weasel to get in there.
Joe: Yeah, only a real sneak would think to break into a chicken coop.
Steve: No, you would litterally have to be a weasel.
Frank: Oh... you mean one of those nasty little furry things.
Steve: Finally.
Joe: My father had the weasels, once.
Steve: That's the measels, not the weasels!
Joe: It's nearly the same.
Steve: No it's not!
Frank: Never mind the measles, I want to know something.
Steve: Shoot.
Frank: If it takes a weasel to get into your coop, how do you get in? You're not a weasel.
Joe: I don't know... I think he stole my wallet once. That'd be pretty weasely.
Steve: I never took your wallet! And I don't go in the coop, myself.
Frank: How do you feed them, then?
Steve: I send my trained weasel in.
Joe: A trained weasel?!?!?
Steve: Sure! They're very handy.
Frank: I don't believe this. How could you train a weasel?
Steve: It's quite easy, all you have to do is-
Thief: Okay! Everybody hold it!
Steve: Hold what?
Joe: Our coffee cups?
Frank: My bar cleaning rag?
Thief: No, you idiots! Freeze!
Steve: I can't, it's not cold enough.
Thief: Are you crazy?!? Look, just gimme all your money, and all the cash in the register, too!
Frank: What for?
Steve: Give us one good reason.
Thief: Isn't it obvious?!? I've got a gun!
Joe: So what?
Frank: Yeah, really. I keep a shotgun behind this bar and you don't see me demanding people's money like a criminal.
Thief: I AM a criminal!
Steve: I guess that explains a few things.
Thief: You bet it does! Now hurry up with the cash! This is a hold up!
Joe: Oh! A hold up! Well, why didn't you say so?
Steve: That's more like it!
Thief: Why're you all holding your cups in the air?!?
Frank: They're just doing what you said. It's a hold up, after all.
Thief: NO NO NO!!! This is all wrong! Put them down!
Steve: I can't, it's a hold up.
Joe: You want us to put things down during a hold up? You must be insane.
Frank: I've never heard of such a thing.
Joe: It goes against all reason.
Thief: FINE! It's a hold DOWN then!
Steve: That doesn't make any sense. We don't have to hold things down, gravity does that.
Thief: I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS A HOLD DOWN!!!
Joe: And I'm tell you, it's illogical!
Thief: Fine, Spock! It's a STICK up! Not a hold up, OR a hold down! Happy now?
Joe:: Swell! I just happen to have a big stick right here.
Steve: Whew, that's lucky. I'd hate to be in a stick up without my stick.
Frank: Same here.
Thief: Would you put that stupid stick down?
Joe: Why? Is it a stick down now?
Frank: Make up your mind already, for crying out loud.
Thief: Fine! It's a stick down!
Joe: You sure about that?
Steve: Oh, I'll bet he is.
Thief: Yes! It's a stick down! It's definatly a stick down! Put that dumb stick d- OWW!!!!
Frank: Is he dead?
Joe: The thief, or my stick?
Frank: The thief.
Joe: No, he's just unconscious.
Steve: I'm more concerned about the stick.
Joe: I think it's cracked.
Frank: Ouch.
Steve: Oh, bummer.
Frank: I'll call 911.
Joe: Just call the cops. Like I said, I didn't hit him that hard.
Frank: No, I mean for the stick.

The Old Cups Of Side Cup.

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